Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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