So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
