I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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