But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have demons in me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
