Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
