There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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