I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
