I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
