i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
