My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
