PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i love accidental penises.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
