hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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