dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
