He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
