She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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