Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
