i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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