The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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