I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
