I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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