Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
third nipple confirmed
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
