I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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