Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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