I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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