Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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