Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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