1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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