Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
