what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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