Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize