I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
