So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
