I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My bed smells like the plague
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
