In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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