so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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