Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The Olympian is in my bed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
