Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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