if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
