Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
