So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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