$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
