Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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