I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
