New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
