I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
