At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
