Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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