what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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