no, he came in my armpit
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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