I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
