What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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