He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
