her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
