they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
