Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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