So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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