He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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