Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
