its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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