I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
