I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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