i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
