I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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