the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
