I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
