There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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