I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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