Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
