I think I died a long time ago.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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