I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
