my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize