wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
