I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
