im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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